THE 6 BEST AFFAIRS

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The 1st Affair

A married man was having an affair
with his secretary.

One day they went to her place
and made love all afternoon.

Exhausted, they fell asleep
and woke up at 8 PM.

The man hurriedly dressed
and told his lover to take his shoes
outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.

He put on his shoes and drove home.

'Where have you been?' his wife demanded.

'I can't lie to you,' he replied,

'I'm having an affair with my secretary.
We had sex all afternoon.'

She looked down at his shoes and said:

'You lying bastard!
You've been playing golf!'

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The 2nd Affair

A middle-aged couple had two
beautiful daughters
but always talked about having a son.

They decided to try one last time
for the son they always wanted.

The wife got pregnant
and delivered a healthy baby boy.

The joyful father rushed to the nursery
to see his new son.

He was horrified at the ugliest child
he had ever seen.

He told his wife:

'There's no way I can
be the father of this baby.
Look at the two beautiful daughters
I fathered!
Have you been fooling around behind
my back?'

The wife smiled sweetly and replied:
'No, not this time!'

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The 3rd Affair

A mortician was working late one night.

He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz,
about to be cremated,
and made a startling discovery.
Schwartz had the largest private part
he had ever seen!

'I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz,' the mortician
commented, 'I can't allow you to be cremated
with such an impressive private part.
It must be saved for posterity.'

So, he removed it,
stuffed it into his briefcase,
and took it home.

'I have something to show
you won't believe,' he said to his wife,
opening his briefcase.

'My God!' the wife exclaimed,
'Schwartz is dead!'

---------------------

The 4th Affair

A woman was in bed with her lover
when she heard her husband
opening the front door.

'Hurry,' she said, 'stand in the corner.'

She rubbed baby oil all over him,
then dusted him with talcum powder.

'Don't move until I tell you,'
she said. 'Pretend you're a statue.'

'What's this?' the husband inquired
as he entered the room.

'Oh it's a statue,' she replied.
'The Smiths bought one and I liked it
so I got one for us, too.'

No more was said,
not even when they went to bed.

Around 2 AM the husband got up,
went to the kitchen and returned
with a sandwich and a beer.

'Here,' he said to the statue, 'have this.
I stood like that for two days at the Smiths
and nobody offered me a damned thing.'

---------------------

The 5th Affair

A man walked into a cafe,
went to the bar and ordered a beer.

'Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent.'

'One Cent?' the man exclaimed.

He glanced at the menu and asked:
'How much for a nice juicy steak
and a bottle of wine?'

'A nickel,' the barman replied.

'A nickel?' the man.
'Where's the guy who owns this place?'

The bartender replied:
'Upstairs, with my wife.'

The man asked:
'What's he doing upstairs with your wife?'

The bartender replied:
'The same thing I'm doing
to his business down here.'

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The 6th & Best Affair

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.

He looked up and said weakly:
'I have something I must confess.'

'There's no need to, 'his wife replied.

'No,' he insisted,
'I want to die in peace.
I slept with your sister, your best friend,
her best friend, and your mother!'

'I know,' she replied.
'Now just rest and let the poison work'



10 Best Foods for Losing Weight

Balance diet is the major key to maintain required weight. With the passage of time, people gain weight. The main reason behind this gaining of weight is the usage of things that contain carbohydrates, proteins, fatty and highly rich which extra vitamin.

The cholesterol is one of the reasons behind excessive fats. Gaining weight is an easy process but losing such weight is totally impossible or time-consuming process.

Limit your meal in a day. Eat only twice a day. Different food ingredients have different capacity of providing energy. Eating a lot in a day has different side effects. It hit the hormones, body organs and different other parts of the body.

Divide your meal in chunks. Like in breakfast, eat light things. Yogurt is one of the best options. Fruits provide energy and increase the metabolic activity of the body. It also enhances the blood volume.

There are some natural food items, which are beneficial in weight loss. These items are use worldwide to reduce weight. There are no side effects of using such items.

1. Peanuts
Peanuts are the best dry fruit items among all that carries fewer calories. It helps the individual to reduce weight. The nutritionists suggest that people who eat peanut in their everyday meal, produces or activate hormones for weight reduction, stated by American journal. Peanuts can control obesity. In weight, loss or dieting people usually get hydrates and starving. Peanuts keep them energetic by providing limited amount to energy. Peanut butter is another form to take peanut every day. People usually in breakfast with brown bread take peanut better. It gives you energy during starving or occurring healthy activities.

2. Apples
The major benefit of using apple is to reduce the belly. Belly seems quite ugly. Girls are very much conscious body their body shape. Apply naturally carries higher quantity of water than other fruits. The outer layer of apply carries carbohydrates, proteins and fats. They give us energy and maintain the level of sugar in the blood. It also compensates the hunger. People in breakfast eat an apple.

Apple contains fiber and low calories. The low calories food carries 85 percent of water. Biologically apply benefit the human body like it protect the body against cancer, lungs issues and stomach issues. It also reduces the chances of cholesterol and weight issues. By eating or intake of sugar dramatically raises the level of sugar in the human blood. By eating apple will control the level to the low rate.

3. Egg
A research in a journal of America proves that eating two eggs daily in breakfast will keep your body energetic all day. The eggs are highly enriched with proteins. Protein provides energy to the body. By adding to this fact doctors and experts says that two eggs daily in your diet will provide you 400 calories of energy in a day.

If you take egg with brown bread will satisfy your body desires and energy required. Other important benefits are it cut the extra fats in the human body and increase your appetite. Eggs will decrease the crabs and low carbohydrates.
Eggs will help you to reduce weight and maintain body shape.

4. Cauliflower
In food, items limit or restrict you to the low quantity of oil, salt, and sugar. The main reason to avoid excessive use of things is to minimize the joint problem, bone issues and diabetes in human. Diabetes is the mainstream or evergreen topic of every century.

In diabetics, the insulin making hormones are stopped their working and artificial insulin will compensate the requirement in our body. Just like salt, it affects the calcium level in our bones. Cauliflowers are highly enriching with vitamin C. It acts as a combat to protect the body against the cancer cells. It stops it inflammation and growth.

In losing weight, there is a proper way to cook cauliflower. If it is over cooked then the vitamin C is destroyed. When vitamin C is destroyed, then the vegetable is of no use. It helps in losing weight by strengthen the immune system or protect the body to deposit the fats.

5. Low Fat Yogurt
There are many natural, artificial, and less expensive ways to cut the weight or reduce our weight. Avoid sugar. Stop yourself to eat spicy food. From spicy or heavy food, switch your food to fruits and vegetables. Greek yogurt is one of the best thing for loosing fat belly or body weight. It carries vitamin D. The yogurt also carries good bacteria. When these bacteria enters into a body of human being are activated and act as antibiotics to kill the fatty acids from the body.

Normal yogurt and Greek yogurt carries protein covering which protects the body against increasing weight. Greek plain yogurt carries more protein than normal yogurt. To take healthy items in your diet add yogurt in it. It stretches the muscles or cells of belly to be flat.

6. Oatmeal
Oatmeal is one the major item of food that is used in different form. Wholegrain, when divided into different parts form oats. Wheat carries fewer calories than other things. It includes popcorns, millet, and brown rice. There are different diet plans, which are following by many people to reduce weight. For the first week, of dieting use three meals, which include what ingredients. In second week, reduce it to half.

Oatmeal’s carries protein and dietary fibers. They are having .25 percent of calories. 6 percent of iron and 8 percent of calcium. Per day during diet, you can only take 6.5 grams of proteins. Oatmeal is made up of the combination of proteins and fibers.

People now start making low calories snakes bars. It carries only 7 grams of calories. Oatmeals now add them to the pancakes. Instead of mixing high protein and calories in the meal.

7. Soup
Nothing is better than eating food with low calories and less fat. The soup carries low fats and protein that prevent the human belly to be fat. Many ways control your weight by using soup. Take soup 30 minutes before starting your meal. It will make your body resistant to digest food with more calories. Along with soup, take vegetables, less protein containing things.

To lose one pound or two pound per week use soup which consume energy. It is important to stop using sugar, protein shakes, higher calories things, which makes your belly balky. Soup carries eggs. Eggs are healthier for human body. You can put vegetables and chicken to add flavor. Add black paper with different sauces to make it more delicious.

8. Fish
As mention, all kind of fish carries omega3 and protein nutrients. Wild fishes are highly enriched with omega 3 rather than the framed fishes. In farmed fishes, people use artificial things to grow them fast. Both biological and mental health can be maintained by frequently using fish. People who are suffering from depression psychologist preferred them to use fishes.

Biological or medical problems like blood pressure, heart attacks, and cholesterol problem can be cure with fish. The major benefit of omega 3 in fish is to burn out the fatty acids inside the human body. Trout fish is a wild fish. It is the most important kind in fishes. It will be helpful for weight loss to prevent the body cells from attacking of different medical disease attacks.

9. Bulgur
Bulgur carries glycolic nutrients. This nutrient balances the level of cholesterol in the body. It is also called kernel whole grain. It is used in different cereal grain meals. It carries nutrients like magnesium, iron and potassium.

Potassium inside the bulgur is beneficial for brain cells. It keeps the brain cells healthy and active. Other ingredients like zinc, which is useful in immunity boosting, brain functioning, cell division, and protein synthesis in the human body. It also carries dietary fibers to compensate the individual who is on diet.

A whole grain ingredient helps the human body to protect the body against diabetes and obesity. It also protect the body from radical damage.

10. Salad
Salad is one of the best and most effective parts in losing weight. Salad carries vegetables, fruits, and vitamins. It adds fuel to the body and makes your meal delicious. Remove calories and fat from the body is known as weight loss. For the sake of weight, loss people switch their diet plan to the salad.

Salad contains calories that fulfill the requirement of the bodily needs. Use fresh salad or fruits because it carries water and dietary elements. These elements are essential to maintain body mass. You can add different ingredients like fruits, apple, pear, beans potato, cucumber, tomatoes and which carries low calories can add in your salad.

Ingredients like cheese, oil, butter, cream and coconuts cannot add into the salad. If you add these ingredients into your salad it carries more calories than a burger contain.

In modern world, people are very much conscious about their health and body shape. Different strategic plans are following to reduce weight. Exercise and consulting an expert is one of the best ideas about losing weight. Yoga, exercise, gym will help and individual to lose weight. Side by side with these techniques, use natural drinks that boast your body during training or work out. The use of carrot juice will purify your blood and fast the blood flow in your body.

Yoga, meditation, traveling, walk, intake of green tea will help you to lose your weight in limited time. The most important thing keep in mind that the regularly follow your diet plan, exercise and daily work routine to reduce weight easily.

Nigeria vs Zambia: The Task Ahead

Feelers emanating from the Super Eagles' camp ahead of Saturday's tie with the Zambians is absolutely convivial and expedient.

Also contended with the spirit most Nigerians and even the players are having prior to this encounter, everyone knows the danger inherent in being complacent going into that all-important game. The Zambians, without any shred of doubt, would pose a huge threat to the Super Eagles.

However, with the same spirit and same team that prosecuted the Cameroon game in Uyo, I think the Super Eagles would be too impregnable for the Chipolopolo come matchday.

SEX, SEXUAL URGE AND SEXUALITY

The earlier you come to terms to the fact that you will always lose to a man sleeping with you before marriage, the better. The so called fiancé who is using you as a sex tool is a fornicator not a husband material.

The sexual urge you can't control whenever you are with your girlfriend or boyfriend is called FOOLISHNESS.

A robber is a man that have explored your body, see your nakedness and use you sexually then dispose you like a tissue paper. Sleeping with a man for money is like giving out gold to get charcoal.

If a man is using marriage to lure you to his bed, he's sucking your treasure and will dispose you like a trash. If you are a virgin, congratulations! Zip up! Padlock!

Everybody has sexual urge but the foolish ones grant access to fornicators to ease the urge. 

A MUST READ IF YOU DON'T WANT YOUR MARRIAGE TO BE A PRISON

 

A great marriage is not far from you. That's if you know what to do. If you don't, it can become a prison. Here are 15 nuggets of truth to help you in your (future) marriage:

1. Foolishness is when you take marriage advice from someone who does not have a successful marriage.

2. Never marry a man when you don't have the confidence he's heading towards where you want to go.

3. As you prepare for marriage, the only way to reduce the risk of being poor is to take the risk of being rich.

4. If you value your husband he'll become more valuable. Beware of the woman who calls her husband "useless." She destroys by default.

5. Couples in a marriage without laughter will age faster.

6. It's weak men that beat their wives.

7. You beat your wife and don't take care of her and still think you can raise holy hands? Those hands are cruel. Repent!

8. We should question the godliness of a woman who submits to a man of God's words but never to her husband's.

9. Since you've dated, you cannot see how your life has become better. Why do you want to risk your life thinking that if you say yes and marry him, magic will happen?

10. A wise woman builds her home including her husband's ego. A foolish one pulls it down, including her husband's confidence.

11. You have your head correct until you fall in love. Then, even if you find out he's a thief you'll excuse it. Mind your heart. It's not so smart.

12. You fall in love without effort. But to stay in love you need effort. If left on autopilot, love flies away. Love must be fed.

13. A marriage hurt by infidelity can have hope. With forgiveness and contrition of heart and lots of work, the  broken walls can be repaired.

14. He beats you and you've kept it to yourself. Don't die in silence. Seek help fast.

15. Marry a friend and if you didn't marry a friend make pursuing friendship with your spouse a priority for you can't maximize marital joy if you're not friends.

Which of these nuggets of relationship and marriage is your favorite and why so?